Christene Mendoza

Other Athletes Lift Weights, Cheerleaders Lift Athletes

2010-03-29T20:05:00.000-07:00

Anaheim/Socal Again. Same old story. The weather was beautiful though. A dip in the pool, a trip to the mall, food, and taxi rides. Enough said.

...and I left early and came home to my darling.

Cross Paths.

2010-02-22T19:57:00.000-08:00

School, Home, Pinole, Richmond, Cheer Practice. I was able to give my boyfriend the little art piece I made at work yesterday. It's not much, but it's sentimental. Basically, I created two birds with one having one half of the famous quote, and the other with the other half. It's hung from two sticks labeled with each of our names and they're tied together to form a cross. If you don't get it, it's alright. It wasn't meant for you anyway, it was for babe. (= "If you're a bird, I'm a bird", and I knew that we would one day cross paths again. I love you my litto birdie.

Go, Fight, Win.

2010-01-17T13:04:00.000-08:00

USA Stockton and USA Antioch, both received 1st place in regionals. I definitely just fell in love with my team all over again. Nationals, here we come...again! credit to Eric for the pictures and Steph for uploading them.

Made For Walking

2009-12-09T15:35:00.000-08:00

Tiring day at school today, but I came home to these babies! I've been waiting on these for quite some time, but in actuality I didn't have to wait that long, I actually ordered them on Monday and they came two days later. I absolutely adore the color.

A Legal Weekend.

2009-12-07T09:24:00.001-08:00

In Celebration of Victoria's 18th birthday, we had dinner at Pasta Pomodoro. The next day, we celebrated Nicole's 18th birthday with breakfast at IHOP and a movie right after. New York Cheesecake Pancakes are dee-lish. Blindside was the best, been waiting to watch it, and it was definitely worth the wait!

Back At It.

2009-08-21T22:42:00.000-07:00

Exhausting day on my behalf. Back to School shopping with Renjie. Swooped him up from bart, and we headed out to Gilroy, then Great Mall, then all the way to Richmond to drop him off, but along the way, we picked up boo's mom from work and stopped to go get some Wingstop. Carpool Lanes all day. haaaay. Seriously, it's too hot down South. Swiped my card a little too much today. haha. 4 pairs of shoes, a bag, jacket, gas money, plus toll. Great day overall. Thanks for coming along and for the food boo! I told you I'd keep my promise hun. (= Too exhausted for words.

Forget school, I don't ever wanna go back.

Splash Away.

2009-07-27T20:12:00.000-07:00

Waterworld today. Met up at bart around 830am, got to the park around 10am, and the weather was beautiful, it got a little bit way too hot around 4-5pm though. KO'ed on the bart ride back. Shoutouts to Victoria, Kevin, Peter, Nicole, Michelle, and Diane.

YAY Team.

2009-07-26T21:36:00.001-07:00

Bake Sale/Performance at Fisherman's Wharf yesterday. Sadly, the entire team wasn't there, but it was great to see all the other girls again. Tons of pictures that day, ask if you can't find them. Anyway, Pier from 930am-3pm. Zeum with Steph, Eric, and Neil til closing. Then us four ate at King of Thai, and the "cash only" part killed it. And finally, watched 500 Days of Summer. Too cute. Oh and Eric & Neil totally lost the bet with Steph. haha

Kickback.

2009-07-21T21:04:00.000-07:00

Simple enough, I enjoy eating out and going to a spot just for talks. And that's just what me and Ryan did yesterday. Red Robin for dinner, and then Oyster Point. Pretty relaxing despite the chilly wind. You already know this, but I do apologize for not making an effort to bond with you last summer, kinda missed out on getting to know you and becoming close friends. But that's about to change now, haha. Make the most before you gotta go your own way. Thanks for dinner, the ride, talks, and intro to a new spot. And no, I still don't look at you differently. Chill sess numero dos coming up soon.

Relief.

2009-07-16T17:34:00.000-07:00

It takes time for things to go your way. I became impatient and attempted to make it go my way. Time away made me mature more than I had expected. I've become so dependent in the past year, I'm beginning to become the independent person I once was. I have to bring it back to the days when I used to quote my brother in "Relationships empty out your wallet", and it's ridiculously legit. I remember spending stacks of money, constant swiping of the card, all for the significant other. Either just to see them, treat them out, or just to buy them random gifts out of the ordinary expected occasions. And now, all my expenses go to my pleasure. I was raised to be giving, and that's why I spoil the hell out of people. Surprisingly, I'm not spoiled by anybody, but myself. Don't ask for nothing from the parents other than food, the main reason for employment. And as a year adds on to my age, I attend to more responsibilities, just this month, I took on the role of paying for my own car, auto insurance, and phone bill. All coming straight from my paycheck. Therefore, I'm glad to acquire the description "Miss Independent to the FULLEST" (for my age at least). Don't get me wrong, I don't live in my own place..yet. haha

Best of Both Worlds.

2009-07-01T13:57:00.000-07:00

Another Sample of what I do at work. hahahaha. Shoutout to Yvane, Perry, and Mama from Memphis ! She is too cool.

SD meets SF.

2009-06-28T13:12:00.000-07:00

So, acknowledging the fact that I don't work Friday-Monday. My brother's friends flew in from San Diego, and we all chilled. Most of the time my brother had to work, so he gave me the privilege to use the truck to show them around.

Friday- Left the house at 1. Sam and I drove to Haight, Twin Peaks, all around SF, and we found a secret beach ! Ended the day by having dinner at my brother's workplace.

Saturday- Helped my brother out with the T-bone steak cake for his friend's birthday. (it was a joke, 'cause apparently the guy turned vegetarian on them haha) Ran some errands for my parents. Dropped off the cake. Ate at Red Robin. Serramonte -_- dropped my brother off work all the way back to downtown. Drove to the Airport to pick up Marc. Went to the party. Left around 130am cause we wanted burritos haha. Bought our burritos. Picked up my bro. Went back to the party. and back home at 3am.

First Shot of the night.

Colgate Spokespeople. HAHA

Birthday Boy !

ended the night with these rascals. 5 weeks old.

Sunday- Tradition. Brother hosts a BBQ at home. Hella food. Hella drinks. Hella fireworks. Hella other goods. Fuck tho, I'm pretty damn disappointed in myself. I made a wrong move tonight. On the otherhand, shoutout to Jeffrey, thanks for coming through boo !

Twin !

At Ease.

2009-06-24T18:30:00.001-07:00

I absolutely don't understand it when people complain about their jobs, if ya hate it so much, why work ? And it really aggravates me when others ask why am I working at Zeum again. Hands down, it's the most entertaining place to work. Whether its making a movie, music video, clay animation, or digital art, it never gets dull. So working at the Digital Workshop Exhibit today, when it was empty. I got to do my own thang. haha. Seriously, I'm encouraged and expected to do these AND I get paid. $$$ You mad ?

last week.

look for it at the ZEUM Slideshow !

shoutout !

21.

2009-06-14T22:41:00.001-07:00

The puppies are officially 3 weeks old today. They're starting to get their thick hair, their eyes are open, and they're roaming around. You'd be surprised what my brother named the six of them. haha They'll be ready to go to their new homes by Mid-July. I believe 3 have dibs. Ask for pricing, if interested !

Hello Summer.

2009-06-10T16:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was legitimately the last day of school. Lowell's Arena (Self-Scheduling) or in other words: The day we get to choose our classes for the next semester. Stonestown to eat after. 2 boxes of sushi for me ! Apple store for pictures. Met up with Ton and headed to his house just to chill while the boys played Call of Duty if i recall. They played ball and I headed to my cousin's house for a while, then off to tanforan for shopping and movies. Shoutouts to Puno, Reina, Samantha, Josh, Carlos, Ton, Kevin ?, John, Gel, Kyra, Krizzy, and Mary. (sorry, i'm bad with names)

Filipinomics.

2009-05-25T10:36:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I know you performed on Friday, haha and I got too lazy to upload pictures, but enjoy. Good job by the way. Oh, and the video Kali took with my cam, kinda sucks so I nixed it. Only pictures from your practices, not the actual performance. Sorrrrrry. They're not all that great, but whatevs. haaaa

Sh!t Happens.

2009-05-24T19:25:00.000-07:00

No fkn lie, sh!t does. And I don't know whether it's karma, or just plain bad luck. Basically the only good thing that happened today was the fact that my baby gave birth to a litter of 6 puppies. Deaam, i'm gonna be making hella bank ! So in a few weeks, i'll be having 8 rascals running around the house. woopee. The LCD of my sidekick busted today, so no more sidekick for me. Greaaaat. I purposely didn't make plans today to meet up with an old "friend" and work out a certain situation, but it was a flake on his behalf. Tried mending a broken friendship with my old best friend, but that didn't go so well either. The weather is disgusting, ridiculously freezing. And lately, i've been on that morning sickness crap. Ugh. I am not about to blog about my feelings and thoughts on this crap, 'cause now I know that people actually look at these things. So this is how vague and general I'm going to make it.

I thought I was doing great, but just when I think I have my barriers set, you find a way to get passed it and make me feel like sh!t. and I'm back to where I started.

"You're on your own, you dumb b!tch" -anonymous; I have nothing to say to you.

"you gotta take the good with the bad, happy and the sad
but when you bring a better future than i had in the past
cause i don't wanna make the same mistakes i did
i don't wanna fall back on my face again"

Update

2009-05-18T18:08:00.000-07:00

Eh, not much has been happening. I've been lazy to blog because I'm ALWAYS on my sidekick rather than actually going on a computer, and I haven't been dragging my camera around to take pictures either; but here, random ones. Not all that great. Story ? uhh, basically I bought Renjie's mom flowers for Mother's Day, sadly, she never received them. Saturday, I helped my brother in creating a cake for his friend's 25th birthday, and that very same day, I found a ladybug on my stairs. haha. I know, I'm cute.
Happy Mother's Day Tita.

Yummaaaay. No really, it is a cake. Skills.

No lie, it looks like it has a microchip.

San Franciscan.

2009-04-30T17:13:00.001-07:00

So basically, on Sunday, my brother, mom, and I took my cousin out around San Francisco. Fisherman's Wharf, Twin Peaks, and that's all we could get to that day. It was pretty windy. And we were getting hungry, so we went back home, I took out the van, and we had dinner out. lalalala. That's basically it.

Truly, Madly, Deeply

2009-04-19T20:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a long day. So much done before Lowell's Jr. Prom. Basically this is how it went down. My brother and I picked up Renjie from Bal Bart around 12. Went back home, chilled for a while. Headed out to downtown to pick up his vest around 1. Called in my appointment at 2 for my nails and eyebrows while Ren went to get his haircut. Shower, then off to get babe's eyebrows waxed. 5pm; started on hair. Credits to Ate Emirose. By 7 I was at makeup, credits to Ate Katrina. Got dressed afterwards left the house around 9. Prom from 8pm-12am at the Parc 55 Hotel. After party was weak, but the after after party was crackin' ahaha. Crashed at 3am. Morning after, pancakes, and whatever babe wanted to cook. Said my goodbyes to babe by driving him to bart at 12pm.

My Handsome Date.

Hair and makeup crew.

Gotta love my brother for everything.

Zyllah.

Ruby.

Nicole.

Group picture ?

Breakfast. Unplanned Matching. aha

It's a Date.

2009-04-05T22:25:00.000-07:00

So, it was time to change things up a bit, abandon the old routine and go out. I planned this little date for me and babe; to rent a pedal boat and just cruise around the lake. Cute eh ? Especially since the weather was beautiful. We had such a tough time following directions with no map. So we basically spent 2 out of 3 of our hours looking for the damn place. aha. But we made it just in time before business hours were over. We saw a bunch of duckies, turtles, and a squirrel. Oh, and there was this ginormous bird that looked like it was ready to eat me. What an adventure, enjoy. ('cause i sure did)

Nationals. 3/27-3/30

2009-03-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

Weekend was different. Wasn't all that great on my part. In the end, i feel like shit. Uploading to Photobucket takes too long, blame Blogger for the quality. Little summary of each day :

Friday : Left babe's house around 5pm (thank you for taking care of me babe), took bart with my luggage and duffle (LOL i felt like an idiot and people were looking at me like i ran away ahah) Walked to the Greyhound bus station on Mission & 1st. Left for LA around 7 almost 8ish. Hello 12 hour bus ride. Stopped at San Jose, Gilroy, and another stop along the way.

Saturday : stopped at Carl's Jr and bought food before arriving in LA. Arrived at the LA bus station around 3-4am. Waited about 1-2 hours to transfer, then headed out to Anaheim. Got to our hotel, got ready for competition. Curled hair and everything (thanks cindy !) Competition at the Anaheim Convention Center was craaaazy, didn't make the top 2, but hey we did our best. Oh, and I had me some Banana Split Dip and Dots. haaay. Sadly, I was disappointed in myself )= returned to the hotel. Was stressed, wanted a drink and/or a smoke, but i just hopped into the jacuzzi. (really does de-stress you !) That was a great alternative. No pictures of that tho, didn't want my camera to get wet. Split into groups: others went to Downtown Disney and others stayed at the hotel, and others ran through sprinklers at the next hotel. aha I bought babe something cute, hopefully it's cute. tehe. Did whatever else, then knocked out.

"You want gum ?"

Credits to Nationals' Photography on the next 20 pictures

never done actions shots before these, sorry they're not that great. /=

Capture of the Speed of Light ?

Sleepy little Munchkin.

This one's for you babe.<3

Straight up Legos Sunday : Free day. Happy birthday Connie ! Westfield Santa Ana in the afternoon, I found my prom dress. yaaaaas. We all split, others went shopping while the other went to California Adventures. Either way, wasn't a wasted afternoon. Headed back "home" to get ready for our semi-formal birthday dinner at Goofy's Kitchen, but ended up going to CPK. We made the biggest scene in that restaurant. (Recognize us, we're kind of a big deal ahaha) After dinner we went our seperate ways, either back to the hotel or downtown disney. We split again around downtown disney; either shopping or arcade. Retarded adventure about 15 minutes before our shuttle was suppose to come pick us up. LOLOLOL. Back at the hotel, Connie received her birthday present. So uh, Steph, Zy, and I went to AMPM to get something to drink with pure change. and threw ourselves a party. Knocked out hella quick

"You can hear the ocean"

Creamed.

Creamed x2

Sorry babe, but that Crewneck was too big for you. )=
Monday : ugh, shower in the morning, finished packing. Breakfast and headed out to the Greyhound Station at 8am. Hello again long ass bus ride. Stopped at Burger King in the middle of the trip tho. Arrived in SF around 7pm. Someone shoot me, I can't believe I'm back home. -_-

Back the Fk Up.

2009-03-27T13:28:00.000-07:00

It annoys the fk out of me when girls don't know when they're pushing it. Like seriously, you know he already got a girlfriend, and you know it aggravates the girlfriend if you're trynna befriend her boyfriend. Why can't you fkn get it ? I don't like you being "friends" with him. It's because of you that we end up getting into the worse arguments, it's because of you that we end up saying shit to each other that we don't mean. Just do us a damn favor ? And just back the fk up. Shit ! You already got your own fkn boyfriend. Don't go and try and wreck a relationship. You got yours to deal with. Stop trying to get close to him. It's not gonna happen, and if it does, you'll fkn regret it. WHY ? 'cause you're fkn around with me. And I ain't gon' take shit from anybody especially not from you. Fkn hypocritical and shit. You act like you know how to talk, you act like you're hella wise, honey, you're not. Seriously, you're fkn immature, you don't know shit. If you were fkn mature and if you were "wise" you would know what the fk you're doing. Just get the fk out of OUR lives, or at least his. You're just ruining it. I dont understand what your motive is. Do you wanna see us apart ? Well keep wishing, cause you're just making a fkn fool of yourself. I ain't goin' nowhere sweetheart. Idgaf what you say, I knew him longer than you. Out of all the fkn guys in the world, you gotta choose mine ? WTF ? Homewrecker. Just quit it, you ain't cute. Quit wasting your time, you're just gonna keep making this shit evolve to its greatest extent. I hate you, deal with your own shit, befriend your OWN fkn boyfriend or find another guy friend, don't try and take mine away. UGH. I don't care, I'll tell you this right now. YEAH, I talk shit about you. And you know what else ? I only talk shit to my boyfriend about you. I know I'm a bitch, for a fkn small ass chick, I can be the biggest bitch you've ever met. This is how I work, I'm the nicest person you can meet, I'll care about your ass regardless of how long I've known you, but if you do something wrong towards me, fk that. I go all out. Never gon' like you ever again. I'll talk shit all I want, 'cause YOU started it. I ain't ever gon' start shit first. So you better fkn situate yourself and know what the fk you're doing. I wish I had my fkn car, I'd run over your ass, back the fk up, and run your ass over again. (Evil ? I KNOW) Get the fk over it ! Just don't get on my fkn bad side then.

*excuse MY immaturity. but fk, seriously i hate her. she just annoys the fk out of me. i needed to let this shit out.

Whatever, I'mma take this shit out on the stage. Nationals here we come ! Anaheim, California for the weekend.

Sick.

2009-03-22T16:50:00.000-07:00

I hate being sick, it's so annoying. I feel like crap, but I wasn't surprised, I knew eventually I would catch the cold, my whole team is sick, my boyfriend is too, and the weather keeps changing. ugh. Couldn't do much today, just stayed home because i'm SICK. Was suppose to go prom dress shopping, booo bleh. I feel like this flower :

droopy, dull, and boring.

Thank God it's Friday Night.

2009-03-21T00:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I only went to 6, 7 today. I couldn't make it to 1,2 and 4,5 but on the bus ride to school, I felt like crap. I wanted to gag, so I ended up leaving right after 6,7. Went home, ate, played games with babe and gabe, napped, and then headed back out to school at 3 for practice from 330-530. Headed to church for youth group around 8ish. We had a fun activity, I enjoyed it, and we ended the night with a birthday celebration. Then I had to drive 6 people home, pretty tiring -_- and I just got home about 45min. ago. I'm gonna knock out soon, so here are the ugly pictures, but enjoy my collage ! 'cause I actually liked it.

My Collage (=

Chocolate Cake wit Vanilla filling.

Hannah, that's gross. Someone doesn't know how to throw trash properly. -_-

Finally.

2009-03-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

I had a rough night, messed up morning, and I was just so down in the dumps that I wanted to leave school right after registry (homeroom), but I loved how the day turned out; Finally seen my boyfriend for the first time in three weeks. I'm not gonna lie, but ooh baby, he was looking pretty good. =P He brought me my "pasalubongs" (= thank you babe ! i love them, (but you know all i wanted from the philippines was you) and i love you even more, thank you for coming down today and making my day.<3

Scrump.

Thank you babe !

Hello Panda (;

Because I asked for a shell. aha

the goods.

BuddyPoke !

2009-03-17T16:04:00.000-07:00

Reinstated.

2009-03-14T22:59:00.001-07:00

Weekly Carwash got cancelled this morning. Ugly weather anyway. Called up Claire to kickit. went to downtown for f21, ate, then went to visit my old work: Zeum. I miss working there )= Lost track of time making clay figures. ahahaha. Ended my day working on my architecture project. not much, amateur i know, here ya go.

Welcome to the CHALKzone.

My penguin in the making.

Skills.

My babies ! Made 'em when I used to work at ZEUM

Claire and her spiderman

"Let's take the stairs"

Babe ! Look what I found (=

Lalalala.

Workout.

2009-03-13T18:50:00.000-07:00

OMFG, i'm NEVER uploading pictures onto blogger anymore. fks up the quality. asdfghjkl; !@#$%^&*. Anyway, whatever Food Day today, so they gave out free fruits and vegetables to make us healthier. Bored during 19-20 (8th period). And then exhausted from practice. Voila :

I'm Cool.

2009-03-10T20:21:00.000-07:00

I had nothing to do today. haha so enjoy.

i love it.

'cause I'm getting an A+ in architecture.'cause my teacher told me to pursue a career in architecture. oh yeah, they ALL want me. Legit. First try. just 'cause i miss you. "ILY RP"you already know.

Back to Nine.

2009-03-09T21:56:00.000-07:00

Well, i'm disappointed. I've officially counted down to a week left until my love comes home, but he just told me today that he's actually coming back on the 18th, way to add on two extra days. LOL. It's okay. I can handle it ? <- that's a damn lie. I miss you ! I've had the craziest convo with him today. But in the end, it's always just gonna be me and you babe. "just you and me all the way", the sentence I've always said ever since our relationship started. And now here's what I've been living by ever since you got on that plane: "one day at a time, TOGETHER". I love you, and I repeat, I'm ready babe, I can't wait.

[20:47] renj: i miss you a lot..
[20:47] renj: and iwant to come home to you
[20:47] renj: with open hands

All Work & No Play.

2009-03-07T21:36:00.000-08:00

I'm so exhausted, it's ridiculous. Carwash at Lowell from 10am-4pm, my feet were frozen and I had the ugliest tan line ever on my feet /= Came home and my brother was baking a cake and asked me to help out. After 8pm, he requested that I clean up the entire kitchen, with a reward of $20, and so I did it. That's all, I'm too tired to type and type, "a picture is worth a thousand words"; here's a few :

Red Velvet Underlayer

I made these (=

Define Yourself.

2009-03-05T20:01:00.000-08:00

So today, I actually had a chance to show someone the kind of person I really am. Others may find what I have to say "corny", but seriously when it relates to you, it makes you realize something that you never did. So the advice is :

If you feel as if you need a break from the opposite sex, from relationships because you don't know what to do anymore, it's probably because deep down, you've forgotten who you really are. you've taken the time to try and impress people and live by their standards instead of your own. You're an individual, don't let anybody else define who you are. So if you're tired and want time away, take this opportunity to better yourself, to find yourself again, and maybe to change for your own benefit as a grander person, not for another person. Finally, don't go searching, just let it happen, in the end, when you do find a good person to get into a relationship with, they'll accept you for the type of person you are intellectually, physically, emotionally, etc.

Keep your head up Zy.

Bad Different.

2009-03-03T20:10:00.000-08:00

This is really tough, I can't not talk to that person on a daily basis. I'm so down at this point, this sucks, I can't handle it, I just want to get this done and over with already. I'm pretty sure, that person misses me as well, but I doubt that they're affected the same way I am. -sigh-

i don't even know...

2 Weeks Left.

2009-03-02T19:40:00.000-08:00

I find it amazing how majority of my post titles include numbers and yet there's some significance that follows along it. Just like today's, today is March 2nd, and there's 2 more weeks left in the countdown 'til Renjie comes home. Maybe in the future, I'll just make a post reviewing all the posts I have written. School was pretty boring, or rather I was just too tired to pay attention. I only had 2 hours of sleep because the night before I just had to drink redbull, and I couldn't go to sleep so I chatted with my lovely boyfriend after he came back to his hotel room from a day of shopping with his family. So while I was on AIM at 2am, it was 6pm in the philippines. Cheer practice was fun, and me and connie were beastin', or rather she was since I did a shoulder STAND on her. haha i love connie ! Looks like it's gonna be 2 days without having any communication with renjie because he's over at a nice beach soaking up the sun where he'll be staying overnight. I'm so jealous ! On the brighter note, with the given extra leisure time, I'm able to get back to playing guitar again. Working to perfecting the chords to Mad; Neyo. No pictures for today ( even though i wanted to show you a shoulder stand on connie ) But look what i found (; videos from sophomore year ! *Malubays

Not-So-Sweet Sixteen.

2009-02-28T22:51:00.000-08:00

Carwash from 11am-330pm, managed to make $300. And while we were advertising, I stunted barefoot. LOL it felt really weird, and this mini car had a huge red bull can on top of it, and gave us complimentary free red bull. Snack time = Beard Papa's Cookie Crunch Vanilla Bean Creme Puff. Thanks Tina. Chilled at my cousin's house for a bit and finally got my travel guitar back, and when I got home I painted my nails again. aha. It's 16 months for me and him, today wasn't all that bad, but sadly I had to spend our 16 months alone. Hi babe ! I miss you, Happy 16th Month and remember that I love you. 16 days left to go. New song btw - In These Streets; Ashanti. Few pictures, and again I say bad quality, so shattap.

idk, i just found it interesting.

Cookie Crunch Vanilla Bean Creme Puff !Cousin's dog Cocoa.newly painted nails "R"

"Now I can say it over and over again, I'm yours and I ain't goin' nowhere
And I know that ain't nobody out there better for me than you
Ain't no way I'm givin' this love to nobody else, cause they ain't worth it"

Emotionally Unstable.

2009-02-27T19:22:00.000-08:00

I felt so dumb last night / early morning, I kept waking up every hour just to see if he was online, I miss him terribly. I can't seem to keep myself occuppied though, maybe because I know that I just can't pick up the phone and talk to him. It sucks thinking that he's having too much fun to even take the time and leave an IM, comment, phone call, text message, whatever just to say "hi, i miss you". I hate this feeling, and I don't know how I'm going to be able to overcome it. I've just been really gloomy these past 3 days, I wonder if he's thinking about me too, or even missing me. /= Everything reminds me of him, I see couples acting all cutesy and whatnot, I hear a song that he would play, others would even ask me about me and him, and even when I take out money; right when I open up my wallet, his picture is right there. *sigh, I don't even know. I haven't been myself lately, and I'm not thinking straight, I always forget to handle my personal responsibilities and I don't even bother to take this opportunity to do better in school. I just feel like I'm missing something, I don't think I was ready for this. Come home babe...i miss you a lot.

18 Days Left.

2009-02-26T20:00:00.000-08:00

Started school at 11am today, ended at 225pm. Only three classes: Physics, Sci-Fi&Fantasy, and French. Been waiting on Tee to meet me up and pay me back. And he only payed me 1/3 of it. -_- So I got bored and decided to repaint my nails, and ta-da. Don't bug about the picture quality, I know it sucks, so shattap.

And The Countdown Begins.

2009-02-25T21:09:00.000-08:00

I hated today. The weather is retarded as usual. And I've had constant rush of headaches throughout the day. Rough day though. I had school from 735am-11am. And I was too depressed to stay in school the whole day until practice so I went home. Time flew by and I headed out to practice by 3, sprained my right wrist doing a stunt. Ended at 530pm and quickly got ready to go to the airport to say my goodbyes to my boyfriend, but stupid me I forgot to check the fare to go from Bal to SFO, so I was short on cash, I had to exit the gate at San Bruno and repay. You're probably wondering why I didn't just add fare huh ? 'cause I was using a red bart ticket, and you can't add any money to it. You know how much it costs to go from San Bruno to SFO Airport, even when it's just one stop away ? $4.05 UGH ! Whatever, I did it to see babe. My wrist was bugging me the whole way, but i got to see Renjie one last time and get that final goodbye hug/kiss. I'm gonna miss him extensively, it's bad enough he lives across the bay, but for 3 weeks, he's going to be on the other side of the globe.

came home to a conversation with gabe on AIM, highlights of the convo *covered up some thaaangs:

[20:58] assass: i wouldnt really wanna go to bayshore
[20:58] assass: and go home at fking 9
[20:58] assass: want me to get shot there?
[20:58] rhapsodizedxsoul: i fkn go to richmond
[20:58] rhapsodizedxsoul: wtf
[20:58] rhapsodizedxsoul: that's what you call HOOD

[21:09] assass: cuz renjie is gone T_T
[21:09] assass: ur renjie's other half
[21:10] rhapsodizedxsoul: i know (=
[21:10] assass: so u count as renjie
[21:10] assass: but then again
[21:10] assass: im like
[21:10] assass: renjie's 3/4
[21:10] rhapsodizedxsoul: 1/2 + 3/4 does not equal a whole
[21:10] rhapsodizedxsoul: stupid

[21:28] rhapsodizedxsoul: MY bf
[21:28] assass: f*** u
[21:28] assass: MINE TOO
[21:28] rhapsodizedxsoul: pfffft
[21:28] rhapsodizedxsoul: i always knew you were gay
[21:28] rhapsodizedxsoul: (;
[21:29] assass: s*** duh
[21:29] assass: *a*** is a cover up

Depression, Pain, Injury, Goodbyes, Tears. I wanna just call it a day. 'nuff said.
and the countdown begins; 19 days left. /=
I love you babe, be safe. I'll miss you.

*after posting this blog, I logged on myspace and found this, it filled that empty gap, and now I can finally happily go to sleep.

Number One Insecurity

2009-02-17T19:13:00.000-08:00

I hate the rain; actually, I'm okay with it, but when it PMS's with on and off showers it gets pretty annoying. It's so relevant to a girl: numerous mood swings and unpredictable outcomes.

Generally, I'm a cheery girl (no duh, CHEERleader nonetheless), but the weather just affects my emotions, sometimes when it rains I get sleepy, or rather lazy to do anything productive with my time. Occasionally, it makes me gloomy and I start to take things too literally to the point where it affects me in a depressed and angered mood. I've been bummed this whole day, my mom woke me up to yell and nag, and once I got in the van with my dad he goes off lecturing away throughout the whole car ride to school and it hardened my heart. So I already started off with a rough morning.
I tried livening up by playing online games or just chatting. Attempted to mess around just for the fun of it, but it went too far. Names turned into harsh insults, and usually I don't mind when others make fun of my skin color, my height, whatever, but seriously when it comes down to my body type. It drops my social level and leaves me upset and down. Having the body type that I have becomes my number one insecurity, I'm fed up with people making unnecessary comments like "you're so skinny !", "damn you're thin", "anorexic girl", etc etc. I've tried to do everything just to gain that extra weight. I feel so self-conscious about it, and yet I can't do anything about it. I've tried to accept myself for who I am, but it's hard when more blameless comments are thrown towards me. Others may want to lose weight, but seriously I rather have that extra fat. Why ? because it's easier to lose weight than gain. All you gotta do is eat healthy and exercise on a daily basis, but when your body is below the average weight for persons around the same age, it can't take it, I don't want to stuff my body with junk food because

it's unhealthy; I get sick and makes me feel queasy and

it never did help me gain weight

Seriously, I've had enough and I just can't surpass the heart-breaking facts. I'm not trying to sound so dramatic, but it negatively affects me to the greatest extent. I wish others would stop looking at me and think "man, she looks like she's about to break". On the brighter side though, even though I have no belly fat, that's just 'cause I have strong abs (; ask around (boyfriend or cheer), but that doesn't mean I don't eat like a mothafuh-. So that sucks for you flabby ! puahaha

After 7 Days.. (Happy "I Love You" Day)

2009-02-15T08:35:00.000-08:00

And again, I say I'm a day behind. I was aiming for a post yesterday, but my boyfriend went home late and I fell asleep, my little body couldn't stay up any longer, so he had the chance to update his blog, whereas mine is a day late. -_-
Yesterday; Valentine's Day. It was a cute day, it wasn't as great as last year, but it was cute, a perfect stay-at-home day for the weather conditions. And it's been seven days ( a week ) since I've seen my boyfriend, so it was lovely to see him again. Our main plan was to eat out for dinner at Chili's, but the weather didn't permit for that and afterwards I wanted to head to the Embarcadero for our little spot, just to relive the memory, and repeatedly, the weather wasn't going to allow for it. So, Renjie came up with the idea of a picnic at home where we can stay in our jammies, order food, watch movies, etc etc. First off, let me go through the afternoon: Renjie came over, he got settled, we talked a little bit, and he asked me to close my eyes. I refused because I had something in mind that I wanted to do first, so we were going on about who goes first for a couple of minutes. ahaha. So I just decided to give in, I closed my eyes and placed my hands over them so I wouldn't peek. He took my hands and told me to keep my eyes closed, and I felt him place something on my hands, he said "open" and what did I see ? A gift, Renjie wrote some messages on the front of the box and it made me all warm inside, I opened it and inside were more notes and snuggies (what I call warm slippers) ! Under the snuggies were more notes, and I gave him a huge hug, he said "You didn't answer my question" and I told him to hold on and don't look, I took a bag of my M&M's and layed it on my bed forming the word "YES" and told him to look. Hugs and kisses from there. I was in amazement, because I thought I was going to make the move, but he beat me to it. I love you babe ! So once he settled onto my bed, I brought out my art "project", a card that I spent approximately 3 hours working on, on thursday night. Sadly, I never got the chance to actually add a little something to it, but he loved it. The front of the card says " Happy ' I Love You ' Day " and why you may ask is it iloveyou rather than Valentine's ? because a year ago was the first time I told Renjie that I loved him ever since we started our relationship on October 31st, 2007. So I handed it over to him, and while he was reading it, I sat right beside him and watched his eyes light up. After he finished, he looked at me and gave me a big big big and long hug. kisses too, and this time tears of joy (yes, awwww) (; Skipping onto when we got hungry, we decided on ordering some sushi, but the restaurant had gone out of business, so we had to go with chinese. We ordered Orange Chicken, Walnut Prawns, Hunan Chicken, Fried Banana (but i had no more ice cream), and Thai Tea. The total came up to $34.70, but because I'm such a good sport, I gave tippage, so that went up to $40. They delivered within 45 minutes and we chowed down. On the downside, we never really had the chance to rent and watch movies, instead we watched tv and cuddled ( hey, it is cuddle weather ). Hours later, Renjie fell asleep and when he awoke, he got ready to go home. Simple enough, that's that. In my experience, I thought that was great. I loved it Especially since I was given the chance to spend time with him, nonetheless after a whole week of not seeing him, and we surprised one another with small gifts with big meanings. Happy Valentine's Day everybody, and babe, Happy I Love You Day. and to quote your blog and they lived "happily ever after".

Number 6.

2009-02-14T20:09:00.000-08:00

Wow, I'm a day behind with my daily blog posts. Anyway yesterday, was simple: School, game, youth group. The end. I finished my art "project" by the way. And now onto Today's blog post ! Happy Valentine's Day everybody !

Wth happened to 5 ?

2009-02-13T21:40:00.000-08:00

Seriously, yesterday had basically nothing. So I had nothing to blog about. That's that and there was nothing relevant to the number five, blah way to ruin the streak. oh wait;

current song: If U Leave; Musiq Soulchild & Mary J. Blige
so before we say goodbye, let's give it a try.

Four Eyes.

2009-02-11T21:55:00.000-08:00

Rough day. Well, first things first; I had an annual appointment with my optometrist and my eyes got worse, it went from a Left: 2.00 Right: 1.75 and bumped up to a Left: 2.50 Right: 2.75. They dialated (sp?) my pupils and those drops hurted like a motha.
Anyways, so much drama has been going on, but luckily ONE thing got "squashed" and we came to an understanding. So yeah, i talked to three people today (i wasn't expecting two of 'em though), and i just felt like i was just being attacked. I felt like the sitting duck in a game of shootings, and i couldn't do anything about it. It turns out my assumption was right, we have some similarities, but i saw a different side of someone who i thought i knew. I never felt so bashed by someone i deeply cared about. I don't get it, guys like to joke around and girls like to be a so-called "smartass", that's just how we are, we can't change, it's in our nature to be like that. And so what had happened a little more into the night was that two of the three started arguing and when one walked away, i felt like i was being targeted just 'cause i'm a girl and i like to "act like a smartass" and it wasn't fair. It seemed as if the anger was taken out on me.
So many disputes, constant arguing back and forth, and now I'm starting to lose hope. I wanted to make things right, but after so many name callings, all the hurtful sayings, i don't know what to do. I had one thing on my mind today, and it was to get everything back in place, but now everything has fallen disastrously and i don't know where to start. I need help more than anything, i need to get through this. Just to put it out there, I do love you, and I've said it countless times that I want to be with you, we just need to take it one day at a time TOGETHER, just you and me all the way...but that's totally up on your part. I just want to be acknowledged if you would welcome me with open arms at this very moment.

Third Time's a Charm.

2009-02-10T19:54:00.000-08:00

Today was surprising and a charming day nontheless, I woke up earlier than usual and still left the house late even though my mom didn't catch a ride with us. Well, I had two exams today; the first, was nerve-wrecking and I didn't get to brush up on anything, so what did I do ? I winged it. Guess what ? Passed. wassssssup. Thank you Lord, and the second I didn't even study, I crammed it all in within 5 minutes before class started and I'm doubting my grade now, but I guess it's reasonable because I mainly focused on passing the first. I just have to work harder. So I had homework due for Architecture, but luckily nobody else did it, what happened next ? Extension. wooooo. Man oh man it keeps getting better.
Afterschool, went home and then headed out to the post office. I received moolah for my baby feet sized shoes, and boy was I happy, I've been in debt lately, always overdrafting because I have the tendency to crave expensive and luxurious foods. And you know what that means $$$ = food.
So one of my old friends called randomly and decided to pay me a visit. And we did what we always did back in the day, talk and talk. I did miss Claire extensively and updated her with what's been going on. Frankly, she understands and sees my point of view when I say "I FEEL like she doesn't like me" it's a feeling, not a judgement.

I'm looking forward to Valentine's Day, I get to see my boyfriend again after a week.<3

Realization; Take Two.

2009-02-09T18:39:00.000-08:00

Not much went on today. I wasn't down and there's no problems. So today is just an "okay" day, what can I say ? Things could've been better, but man oh man was it fuh-reeezing today. Whoa baby. LOL great, now my blog started off sounding like a Dr. Seuss's (sp?) story. ahaha. Just an ordinary Monday; school, practice, and then home.
So I've been thinking lately about how much I've changed, and there's some opposing characteristics that I never wanted to become; a big one is jealousy and the other, being argumentative. I realized that arguing doesn't get me anywhere and it's not the most efficient method of communication because honestly, if you think about it, if you argue with a person to get your point across, thinking that they'll understand, they won't. Why ? because the more you argue, the more they lose interest in paying attention, all they'll want to do is fight back or not even care because they don't want to deal with it. And this will just cause more conflicts.
Onto jealousy, jealousy is one of the hardest factors to overcome and it ruins relationships. It leads to accusations and eventually hurts both persons. People start to overthink things and they may not be able to distinguish between reality and what their thoughts begin to make up because of the fear, clingyness, and insecurities that spring from jealousy. In my opinion, I believe that it's reasonable to be jealous from time to time because it's human nature, but some just need to tone it down, and I admit, I'm guilty in that manner.
The strongest foundations of a relationship are communication and trust, and if you think honesty is important too, that falls in the trust category. So learn from this : don't let your jealousy overwhelm you and control your emotions because it may just turn against you and you may lose someone special, and plus if you really did trust that special someone, you shouldn't even be worrying about it too much. And if you can't trust them, you need to start over or just leave because you're not going to move forward without trust.

Beginner's Luck.

2009-02-08T19:51:00.000-08:00

So eventually after months of agony and trying to find people who would actually listen to my problems, I decided to take a chance and create my own blog just to let off some steam and whatnot. I really could care less if loads of people read this because it's just a personal thing, and right now I don't know whether I should be pretty vague about recent situations that has been reoccurring.
What can I say, I've just been feeling pretty neglected lately. It's hard to actually keep in touch with some friends knowing that they won't do the same favor. It gets pretty annoying actually, but I guess it's whatever. Friends really do come and go, and now I just need to make more friends. Honestly, it's hard for me to make new friends. Why ? because if they're girls I'm afraid of them just backstabbing me and if they're guys, it'll just create drama in mine and my boyfriend's relationship. And that's not worth risking.

Basically, I don't have smack to do today. Boyfriend's out with friends. My team backed out on the Cheer Around the Bay Competition. Long story. And I apparently have nobody to chill with. Sad ain't it ? And instead of doing homework, voila a new blog from yours truly. Seriously though, sometimes people just need to take my feelings into consideration and not only that, but I believe they're suppose to care about me, so it was just natural for me to think that they would be there to listen, understand, and accept the circumstances, but no, not even close.
I'm also tired of depending on certain people to vent to, and to maybe just hear me out or even add a little advice. And majority of the time, when I'm in need to talk to people about problems, they either don't answer their phones, say they'll call me back and never do, or just don't care and tell me to "stop complaining" or "stop crying". Luckily, I can easily clear some thoughts by blogging. So thank goodness for that. Goodbye Xanga, hello Blogger.

current song: Why Does She Stay; Neyo
So, why do I stay ? 'cause i'm in love.

I just wished that you thought this way :

She's always considering my feelings

Thinking of me before herself

Most of the time I'm so damn selfish

I don't even realize she treats me so well

Gotta be a better man for her

To take my time and do

what I'm supposed to do

Because I just can't see my life without you